Somewhere Down The Road
by flashpenguin
Summary: Now that JJ has married Will, there is no reason for Emily to hang around. It's time for the lovers to say 'goodbye'. But can they, and mean it, now that things have changed?


_I think most people know how I feel about JJ marrying Will. And because of what happened Wednesday, I have decided that I can no longer watch a show that is so insulting to viewers. I think in a way, I know how Paget feels. Maybe it's time to move on. So, this is my contribution to JJ taking that leap into the abyss AKA marriage, and how it affects Emily's decision to leave._

_I don't own CM or the characters. If I did, Will would have been toast._

_Song prompt: "Somewhere Down The Road" by Barry Manilow_

**Somewhere Down The Road**

The music from the party drifted softly out to the patio balcony where Emily stood looking off into space. So many things were on her mind that she didn't want to think about it lest she begin crying. She had made her decision to leave - just as JJ had made her decision to marry Will. And now they were both going to have to live with their choices.

"I thought I might find you out here," JJ remarked softly as to not startle her friend.

"Hi, JJ," Emily replied without turning around.

"I was getting ready to throw the bouquet when I noticed you weren't in the ballroom." JJ leaned against the railing carefully so she wouldn't dirty her white gown. "Why did you run off?"

Emily kept her eyes locked on the furthest star. "I needed to get some fresh air."

"I understand."

Both women stayed silent as though they were afraid to break the moment. In the distance a frog croaked its mating call and the Katydids made their own song.

"Do you have to leave?" JJ finally asked.

"I don't have a choice."

"It's because I married Will," JJ stated sadly.

Emily blinked back the tears burning her eyes. "You did what you had to do, Jen. No one can fault you for doing the right thing."

"Do you think it was the right thing?"

Emily shook her head. "It's not my place to judge you."

"I asked a question."

"I guess you must really be in love because you missed the line where it says, 'if anyone can show just cause why these two should not be joined, speak now or forever hold your peace'. I missed my chance," Emily said with barely veiled sarcasm.

"I care what you think," JJ said. "I always have."

Emily looked down at the ground below. "It doesn't matter now. You're his wife now and you've given Henry his father in everyway that matters. You can be the wife and mother you've always dreamt of being. And I will continue to love you from afar."

"You love me?" JJ asked stupidly.

Emily turned to look at the woman who had been her lover - now was someone else's lover…for better or for worse.

"I've always loved you. I thought you knew."

Speechless, JJ searched for a response. "I…you never said anything."

"I thought actions spoke louder than words. Remember all those nights you called me when Will stormed out? Remember that weekend in Atlantic City where I taught you the meaning of 'Sin To Win'?" Emily's voice was tinged with anger, but it also shook from emotion. "You've always belonged to me."

"I know. But I needed to hear the words. Emily, you never once said what was in your heart. Even when I stood behind you when Doyle wanted you dead, I waited for you to tell me how you felt."

"I tried."

JJ reached out and cupped Emily's cheek. Her thumb softly brushed the stray tear away. "I know it isn't easy for you to say those things. I know that it's even harder for you to trust. I know you would have been there for me, but there is a part of me that loves Will, too. He is Henry's father."

"That is the only comfort I can get out of this," Emily confessed. "As long as I know that you're happy, I can move on."

"To London." The statement was said as though it was a vulgarity.

"To somewhere I can start over and forget that all of this has happened," Emily corrected. "I need to start over. Besides, Interpol needs my linguistics skills and it's time I start mending fences with my parents. They won't be around forever."

"You can stay here and do that. You don't have to run away," JJ's tone was accusatory.

"I'm not running. I need to get away and begin healing. It's been a rough year for everyone and I still think that there is too much water under the bridge for the team to ever trust me again," Emily said with a small shrug.

"They trust you," she protested. "Even Morgan said it was like losing you all over again. He understands. But no one understands why you have decided to up and leave on a moment's notice."

"I have to do this, Jen. I can't look across that table every morning and know that the night before you were in the arms of someone else. I can't trust myself not to say something that might betray the way I really feel about you."

"Emily…"

She held her hand up to stop JJ's words. "You know how you felt when you almost lost Will? Well, that is how I feel every time we go out in the field. We already know that the odds are against us coming back as a team. If I lost you…" Emily blinked quickly but she couldn't stop the tears. "I have to go."

JJ nodded silently. "I don't have the right to make you stay. You're right, I made my choice to marry Will and be his wife. And you made your choice to go to England."

"We had a good love…"

"At the wrong time."

Emily made a sarcastic snort. "Story of my life."

"Will I ever see you again?" JJ wondered.

Emily laughed. "Yeah. They do have a thing called technology now. And I'm sure that PG will be on Skype every single second that you guys aren't on a case. Plus I will have tons of souvenirs to send to Henry and Jack from Merry Old England."

"It rains all the time there," JJ pointed out. "And I heard the winters can be a bitch."

"The last couple of winters here in Quantico haven't exactly been paradise either. I spent a winter in St. Petersburg when my mother was doing a tour in Russia between assignments. I like the cold." She glanced at her watch and mentally calculated how much longer she would have to stay before she could make a break for it.

"I should go now…"

JJ's hand shot out to grab Emily's arm. "No. Stay for the throwing of the bouquet."

"So you can throw it at me?" she quipped.

JJ's smile was weak. "It can't hurt for you to find someone else while you're in London."

"Throw it to PG; Lord knows she needs to make a decision between those two men she keeps on strings." Emily reached out and brushed a lock of hair from JJ's face. "I've already made my decision."

"Then dance with me."

"What? Dance with you?" Emily sputtered.

"Sure. Why not? I mean, it's tradition that everyone dances with the bride," JJ said. "And if I remember correctly, it was you who danced with everyone."

"But Will."

"Yeah." JJ licked her lips. "So…will you dance with me?"

It was on the tip of Emily's tongue to say no and that she really had to go. But there was something vulnerable and needing in JJ's blue eyes. And like every time before, she couldn't say no. With a small sigh, she wrapped her arms around JJ's waist and slowly they began to move in time to the music.

"I'm going to miss you," JJ sobbed.

"Me too." Emily's voice was strained from holding back the tears - tears she would shed when she got home and locked the door.

"Will I ever see you again?"

"I know our paths will cross again. As my grandfather used to say: What's meant to be is."

JJ pulled back. "You stay safe."

"Make sure Will treats you with the respect you and this job deserve," Emily returned. "Or I will be back sooner than you think." Before JJ could reply, Emily dipped her head and kissed her friend and lover with all the passion she felt in her heart. Eagerly, JJ returned the kiss.

Breathless, Emily lifted her head. "Goodbye, Jen. I love you."

"I love you, too, Emily."

Without another word, Emily turned on her heel and walked away. JJ watched until she disappeared from sight.

Drawing in a deep breath, she wiped away the tears and tried to get herself under control. She needed to look good when she went back in to Will. She couldn't look like she had just said goodbye to her best friend and lover.

JJ suddenly smiled.

But she hadn't said goodbye. Only 'I love you'. And maybe, if things didn't work out with Will, who knew what the future could hold?

_You've always belonged to me. _ Emily's words rang in her ears.

Sniffing back the last of the tears, she turned and went back into the hall with her friends and family. No one was the wiser that her heart was on its way to London.


End file.
